2011!

oh look! its 2011! From the last post, a lot, and i really mean ALOT, has changed! And if youre guessing it right, yeah i got my heart broken, once again. But this time, it wasnt that painful, because i was right to reserve some feelings for myself, knowing that the relationship was gonna crack sooner or later..

But i'm doing fine now, okay on the borderline. well, thats the gist of it! more to come! (i hope i can still blog) hahaa... till then, you take care, as i would, and may we meet again. =)

a tearful day indeed

you know, i think, today is the day which i felt hurt the most. well, i wont spoil the details here.. sometimes, i just hope, that the one you love and youre gonna spend your whole life with, accepts you for who you are, and that shes marrying you because you are unique and differently from the rest. if you are the frequent subject of comparisons, where is the love in this?

sometimes, i am confused. this is the reason why i had so much reservations in my feelings, because ive been hurt before, and truthfully, im very afraid to undergo it again... i couldnt give my full affection if someone keeps ridiculing you with ghosts of the past.. i am really afraid.. afraid of me getting hurt and breaking down yet again...

Year Check: 2010. Last entry year: 2006. 4 years have gone, and i confess, i miss this fortress of solitude of mine. So Jor-El, how is it going? Well, i believe most people have gone to Facebook and/or Twitter.. (which i did too).. but, for old times sake, I thought I'd just leave a note here, that im still alive and breathing, so is Oliver, and this fortress is still my home for solitude to pen down my distressed thoughts, or not... profile says my age as 22, so many years have passed and how i have aged.. still, memories are stored here.. and they have made and shaped me to the person i have become today.. Thank you, Jor-El, for your guidance, and patience, and advices. May we meet again.

wo wo wo...its been ages since i MIA from blogging..hmm, alright2, dont be too sad okie, im still breathing..dont worry abt that...well, finally, im now a member of Mensa International...haha..you dont know what it is? go figure it out..try google..and you will know what is it...hmm..well, what? you wanna know how have i been kicking all these while? well, i did okay..work is good...plenty of pretty girls to look at..wahaha..just being cheeky...yeah at the same time still finding the right one tho...and th result so far: none...guess my standards are too high too achieve...maybe i shud lower it down abit..haha...kinda miss alot of peeps...been missing out the good ol' times with some friends...well, what to do, tight commitments at work and other personal commitments...i guess i gotta slip away for now..seeee yaaaaaaa!!!!!

a few peaceful days in solitude...and i gotta admit, life is much better and simpler this way...with nobody to talk to, and the most sucky thing is that, you used up all your breath to talk to someone abt yout problems, but that person pretends to listen to you, with the fact that SHE is not and never interested and concerned, even as a friend, at all, and SHE did was to say "Okaaay" repeatedly....to me, i think that's annoying and plain rude...could've at least tell me not to talk abt it with HER..i wont waste my breath in dat case...well, what to do, some people just plainly DONT CARE at all..so whats the point of me making efforts? might as well give it all up and i could do the same DONT CARE attitude too...i can be a nice guy, but people tend to go over the limit when im being too nice...i can be really nasty if im pushed over the limits too..and i REALLY mean REALLY NASTY....so i thought to myself, maybe im really better off on my own...better than being around people who simply DONT GIVE A DAMN CARE at all...

I'm sick of always hearing,
All the sad songs on the radio,
All day, it is there to remind,
An over-sensitive guy that he's lost and alone

I can't forgive, can't forget
Can't give in, what went wrong
Cause you said this was right
You messed up my life

hmm...alot of things happened lately...i dont know how and where to start, but i managed to come out with the words that might explain the plight that im going thru till now...here it is:

"Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world, will never take my heart
You can try, you'll never break me
Want it all, we wanna play this part
Won't explain, or say I'm sorry
I'm not ashamed, I'm gonna show my scar
Give a cheer, for all the broken
Listen here, because it's only
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
I'm just a boy, who's meant to sing this song
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero
I -- don't -- care"

yeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh........wildcats in da house! wave ur hands up in the air! haahha...we're back...my team is back...the wildcats are back...we made the crowd go wild today...wooohoooo!! yeaaaaaahhhh...im gonna love this...